“It doesn’t matter if you are ‘affirming’. It matters how you respond.”
That’s not as loaded a statement as it might appear.
It came from a close friend, who after coming out as gay lost his church leadership position and many Christian friends. Realizing how conditional their acceptance of him was, he got as far away from the church as possible, years ago.
And yet, he believes in me and “Making Things Right”. So much so that he was the creative force that built and launched the whole project in 2021, turning my vision into reality.
He even presented with me last Fall to 200+ parents and church leaders, sharing his experiences and disappointment with the church. Afterward, they all lined up with their hugs and apologies – a hopeful picture of how the church could be.
“Affirming” has served as common language to see where a church or individual is at regarding LGBTQ+ people.
It can also be an intimidating, divisive word that takes on different meanings, and a too-quick determination of which “side” you’re on, and whether you are safe.
In between affirming and non-affirming ideologies, there is nuance and much room for us to learn, respect, collaborate, and heal divisions – things that I propose matter the most.
For it’s ultimately not about what we believe, but about how we love, respond and care for LGBTQ+ people.
