The Bible & Gay Marriage

A pastor friend asked my take on the Bible, specifically in relation to gay marriage. My eventual answer was simple, yet deserved the context of my story.

Until my late 30s, I believed that remaining single was the best way to honor God with my sexuality, based on how I understood Him, the Bible, and obedience. I was at peace with that path.

When I hit a point where that was no longer sustainable, I wrestled with God for two years, and searched the Bible with new urgency.

First, I went to the verses that speak directly to homosexuality, yet found no resolution. Then I studied the Book of John, where I saw with new eyes the consistent character and priorities of God through Jesus, and how nothing could separate me from God’s love.

That is where I renewed my foundation, and found my peace as a gay man. Essentially, God released me from trying to ‘fix’ my sexuality. He called me to trust him as I have since I was a boy. I was free to be fully me, to serve people and serve God. It was terrifying and liberating. I took the new path, in faith vs. certainty, and never turned back.

Honestly, I did not see marriage for me. It seemed a stretch given my history. And yet, I am relational and desire companionship. So when Dan asked me to marry him, I tearfully said yes, in faith.

A time I will never forget is when we declared our vows. Mine started off like this…

“I have spent most of my life believing this day would not be possible. Yet here I stand, in peace and confidence, before God, committing my life to you.”

It was a surprising and sacred moment, and the most definitive time I have known God’s blessing. I recall back to it when I have doubts, to lean on God’s sufficiency once again.

So what do I think the Bible says about gay marriage? I honestly don’t know, and I truly appreciate varying views.

But what do I think of the Bible and the foundation it lays for me and other LGBTQ people to see the epic story of God’s pursuit, and to know that nothing can separate us from his love?

The Bible is 100% clear there. And that is enough for me.

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